mood: say peanut!
(this is mum in japan, i'm not sure when)"little by little they grow and rise up, garbing themselves in various colours, glorious like the flowers in spring, and the spring itself rejoices and is glad at the beauty in which they are clothed." -komarios the philosopher and high priest instructs kleopatra in the divine and sacred art of the philosophical stone
i am craving the whiteness of blue sky clouds, december snow, blank pages. this, though my best friend wears summer dresses long past labour day and my strangers write chalk messages on the sidewalks. i am overwhelmed by just-because gifts: perfect bookplates, a zucchini muffin & your letters. sometimes, i take dinnertime walks through the south end neighbourhoods or sit cross-legged in empty playgrounds for the sadness it brings.
i have library-borrowed the handbook of english costume in the twentieth century 1900-1950. every morning, i consult a page at random and replicate it while i get dressed. i'm mid-way through midterms; studying hard means learning so much.
also, i turn twenty in less than two weeks. time is not scary as i'd thought, mostly i feel ageful (full of all my ages). i'm nowhere where i expected and that is all right. this closeness is not closeness, it's just a trick of standing near. as i stop seeking out my future, i begin to see where the next will lead me. oh, i have such sudden plans!
i have library-borrowed the handbook of english costume in the twentieth century 1900-1950. every morning, i consult a page at random and replicate it while i get dressed. i'm mid-way through midterms; studying hard means learning so much.
also, i turn twenty in less than two weeks. time is not scary as i'd thought, mostly i feel ageful (full of all my ages). i'm nowhere where i expected and that is all right. this closeness is not closeness, it's just a trick of standing near. as i stop seeking out my future, i begin to see where the next will lead me. oh, i have such sudden plans!
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